Short lived & Living in fear.

Well, that went wrong didn't it!

Since my last post, my 6mp treatments been stopped... well in fact... all treatments been stopped.

I began feeling really weak, all over the Christmas period. Kept myself going, carried on as normal.
I went shopping, wondered around getting last minute Christmas gifts and so on, feeling increasingly unwell as I walked around. Weak, sweaty but cold, almost faint and like I was drunk but stone cold sober.

This carried on and got worse... and worse.

And worse.

I then began to feel unwell in myself, like I was poorly with a bug or something, but had no symptoms other than fever and sweaty but cold.

This went on and on.

New Years Eve. Spent it on the sofa, feeling incredibly sorry for myself, in my Christmas onesie.. as you do.

Midnight came and went and I went up to bed about half 1.

Still awake at 2...

Started sweating and shaking, to the point where the shakes became full body tremors and couldn't speak. Couldn't see, felt faint. Legs swollen like balloons, stiff, heavy with prickly feeling skin so sore clothes hurt.

WHATS HAPPENING TO ME?!

We dialed 111 to get some advice on what to do.. She took my details and talked to me until the tremors took over and I threw the phone at my boyfriend in a very dramatic 'I'm dying' style, panicking and freaking out, shaking... you get the picture... He talks to her for me and she says.... I'm sending an ambulance for a suspected allergic reaction to your medication.

Oh, My, God.

The crew arrived, and they were brilliant, they did an ECG, blood checks etc, checked me over and said I was tachycardic, and they're taking me in.

They came from somewhere that would usually take 45mins or so.. and got to the house in 15minutes, lights, sirens the works. They were incredibly efficient and made me feel safe. But definitely annoyed the neighbours!

I was stopped from taking the 6mp, and told they should work their way out of my system.
Chemotherapy tablets make you feel like absolute crap! Approach 6mp wisely, those of you with Crohns reading this. I thought I'd be ok...

I was back in hospital 2 days ago because of how poorly I've become. Think I'm over the worst of it now...hopefully. Still fighting off the side effects though.

I'm now not on ANY medication for Crohns specifically.And that scares the hell out of me!

I'm awaiting an appointment with my consultant and were going to come up with a 'plan'.

I'm sick and tired of living in fear of my own body and not having any control over it. I wish I knew what it was like to wake up and only worry about the traffic on the way to where I was going...

If I were an animal... I'd have been put down years ago.