Such a mess.

Since my last post, I've been admitted to hospital...

Surprise surprise...

I was asked to go in for tests and treatment for a 'moderate flare' of Crohns disease.
Purely due to the blood loss I had every day.

I was expecting to be tested to find out for definite if it was the Crohns.
I say this, as my last flare (before surgery) I never experienced blood loss. I was incredibly sick, but never had any blood show.

This FEELS different. My gut instinct (ha) is telling me this isn't just a straight forward thing.

On my last appointment my CRP was at 7.

On admission ( 5 days later) it was at 51.

Huh?!?!!? What on earth?!

I was expecting tests done right then. But oh no.... steroids is the only answer!

Lets fill her with them! Lets leave her on them!

After sitting in hospital for days they sent me home on them.... Having only had 1 blood test done, on admission...

Not impressed.

A week later I saw my consultant.

Colonoscopy is finally booked. When for... who knows?

OPTIONS;

DRUGS TRIAL

INFLIXIMAB

?!?!!?!!

Can you get where this is going??

Firstly, how are they supposed to scope me to see whats going on if they're suppressing whatever it is with steroids, then putting me on one of those drugs?

Logical order should have been...

Blood test
Steroids
Colonoscopy asap
Course of treatment confirmed.
Treatment started.

But no...None of the above have happened apart from the first two.

I just want to live my life! I don't want sympathy or people feeling sorry for me. I want to be healthy and happy.

I was told today that to start on this drugs trial, they have to screen me. For this I need to be poorly.
I need to stop the steroids.

I said, so really, you need me to be as unwell as possible to do this? Yes is the answer.

Why cant anyone understand that all I want is to get on with my life?

Give me a damn drug that will work long term and not screw me up, then leave me be.

My head is so scrambled from these tablets, I'm certain this makes no sense.
I have more to say but today isn't the day.